Leopold Loeb Reviews...



Head Coach Erection Pump
Posted Feb 01st, 1999 00:00 AM by Leopold Loeb
Manufacturer: CalExotics (formerly California Exotic Novelties)
The box cover of Head Coach shows a buff dude in football pads getting ready for the big game. The instructional text wants users to think big: "Score touchdowns every time you're on the field." The warning literature states that use of a vacuum pump "may bruise or rupture the blood vessels either immediately below the surface of the skin, or within the deep structures of the penis or scrotum resulting in hemorrhage and/or the formation of a hematoma." Misuse of Coach "may aggravate existing medical conditions such as Peyronie's disease, priapism, and urethral strictures." Good thing I'm a doctor, or else I wouldn't know what they're talking about. All I can say is, after greasing up with my personal lubricant, I stuck my crank in the frosted erection tube and pumped away with the easy-to-use hand bulb. In conclusion, I'll say this: Point me towards the goal line -- I'm ready for the Super Bowl.



Hot Rod Enhancer
Posted Feb 01st, 1999 00:00 AM by Leopold Loeb
Manufacturer: CalExotics (formerly California Exotic Novelties)
My kid brother comes up to me and says, "Yo, big L, I can't fill up my bitch."
I say, "Okay, pencil-dick, you've come to the right place. What you need is the Hot Rod Enhancer. It'll increase your girth, and that'll bring a smile to the scrawny piece of chicken you politely refer to as your 'bitch." "How's that possible, Knower Of All?" he asks, blinking innocently.
"The tiered ridges of super-stretchy senso-material really make a dif, stupid," I reply.
The next day the freckle-faced punk comes over all happy and says, "Guess what, Big L, that Hot Rod Enhancer really worked. I fucked my bitch, I mean girlfriend, and she shrieked Oh God, you're so big the whole time I was inside her."
"Excellent, little buddy. Hot Rod Enhancer gives your shaft that extra big thickness you need, and it's transparent so no one will know you're wearing it -- except you and God Almighty."



Pearl Beaded Prolong Ring
Posted Feb 01st, 1999 00:00 AM by Leopold Loeb
Manufacturer: CalExotics (formerly California Exotic Novelties)
I walked into the room, buck naked, hard as a rock, and said, "Get ready for 30 minutes of solid action." My wife bent over and said, "Pedal to the metal, big trucker." Then she noticed my bright yellow Pearl Beaded Ring around my cock and balls.
"What the hell's that?" she asked. "Trust me on this one," I said, and went to work. Needless to say, a half-hour later, a dozen 'gasms under my belt, my wife mumbled a euphoric "wow" under my breath. Yeah, PBPR might look like a Halloween toy, but it's as effective as Popeye's spinach.